the couch.

This is something that's long bothered me.

I know it's controversial, and I'd like to pre-empt it by saying I don't mean to offend anyone, it's simply an observation.

I read posts in a thread about people on the Cohen programme. It's very interesting.

There are some people who flit in and yell 'ticker change' and flit out, which is fine, some days I don't have time to post either.

There are some who come and answer everyone gone before them, with information, recipes, advice etc, this is great, and often helpful. I'm glad they have the time and the inclination to do it.

But then there are some people who seem to be continually (well, often, at least) deriding themselves for 'deviating'. They come in and be-cry the fact that they 'deviated' or 'blew out' or 'binged' or whatever euphemism they're using today. I don't understand it. Maybe it's a deficiency in me, but maybe not.

What irks me is that these people comment that they've 'deviated' (I hate this word, almost as much as I hate 're-feed' but hey, I'll use it for the moment), and ask the group "Why do I do it?" or "What can I do to stop deviating?" etc.

Then others come in and pat them on the head and say "There, there, it's OK, you can get back on the diet tomorrow, it'll be fine...".

This is all well and good, but, I wonder, Why DO they do it?

Is the confession a manifestation of the insecurity that led them to overeat in the first place?

Is it a form of Munchausen's, where they have to sabotage themselves in order to 'save' themselves the next day?

Do they thrive in the back patting after the confession?

What about those who advertise the "number of days since last deviation" in their signature? Is this setting themselves up to fail? Could it become blase after a while? If, when you come in, you immediately go to change your signature, and you've 'deviated', what's the difference if you write '10 days' or '0 days', can the simple act of doing this daily render it ineffective?

I have a ticker. I update it roughly weekly. I have been wondering recently why I have it. I guess I started it as a means of 'fitting in' with the group. But then my loss is MY LOSS not anyone else's, although, I hope that my immense amount I need to lose may inspire others.

Oh, and, while I'm whingeing, I find it trite, at best, when people who have a total of 10kg, and are half way through, whine about the restrictions of the programme, or complain about their own 'deviations'. I have struggled with my mind about this one. Part of me says, what the ....? ONLY 10kg, and they're whining??? Crikey, I'd be beside myself to be ONLY 10kg overweight!!! Then another part of me says "These people have the right to feel uncomfortable with their weight, just as much as any of us do". Although, it does seem to me that if they got on with it they'd be finished in no time flat...

It's interesting where your mind wanders when you examine your surroundings.

I'm due for my first blood test now, I'll go for it next Monday after my weigh in, won't have time before then. Should be interesting, Sue tells me the report comes back as to whether I've 'deviated' or not. I haven't varied from the plan at all (deliberately, there were some 'teething issues') but this last two weeks with the throat infection I've had a very dry throat so I've been chewing on sugar free cough lollies, and I'm told they may give a naughty reading. Will see next week.

I'm not losing as fast as I should be. This is, I believe, due to three things. Firstly I probably haven't been drinking quite enough water while I've been sick, secondly I've had issues with the way I read the plan, in that I was eating the wrong type of fish and eating all my fruit at once, and thirdly, the cold will have done bad things to my metabolism. These put together with the fact that I really MUST get to bed earlier, have stopped me achieving what I want to. (Don't anyone look at the time now!)

The water's fixed itself now that I'm getting better, the food has fixed itself through more discussion with Sue, the cold is going, nearly gone. This leaves the small matter of going to bed early. I'm going to make a point of being in bed by midnight EVERY day this next week, and see how that goes. Won't be easy.

PS: I want a cup of TEA!!!

Sick leave

Well, it's now week 3 of this cold. I can feel it's ending, but in the meantime my head's exploding.

Went and got weighed yesterday, but only lost 2kg this week. Again, I think it's because of the cold.

Have been doing lots of knitting. Still.

Promise to be witty and clever again next week, when I can think.