the couch.
This is something that's long bothered me.
I know it's controversial, and I'd like to pre-empt it by saying I don't mean to offend anyone, it's simply an observation.
I read posts in a thread about people on the Cohen programme. It's very interesting.
There are some people who flit in and yell 'ticker change' and flit out, which is fine, some days I don't have time to post either.
There are some who come and answer everyone gone before them, with information, recipes, advice etc, this is great, and often helpful. I'm glad they have the time and the inclination to do it.
But then there are some people who seem to be continually (well, often, at least) deriding themselves for 'deviating'. They come in and be-cry the fact that they 'deviated' or 'blew out' or 'binged' or whatever euphemism they're using today. I don't understand it. Maybe it's a deficiency in me, but maybe not.
What irks me is that these people comment that they've 'deviated' (I hate this word, almost as much as I hate 're-feed' but hey, I'll use it for the moment), and ask the group "Why do I do it?" or "What can I do to stop deviating?" etc.
Then others come in and pat them on the head and say "There, there, it's OK, you can get back on the diet tomorrow, it'll be fine...".
This is all well and good, but, I wonder, Why DO they do it?
Is the confession a manifestation of the insecurity that led them to overeat in the first place?
Is it a form of Munchausen's, where they have to sabotage themselves in order to 'save' themselves the next day?
Do they thrive in the back patting after the confession?
What about those who advertise the "number of days since last deviation" in their signature? Is this setting themselves up to fail? Could it become blase after a while? If, when you come in, you immediately go to change your signature, and you've 'deviated', what's the difference if you write '10 days' or '0 days', can the simple act of doing this daily render it ineffective?
I have a ticker. I update it roughly weekly. I have been wondering recently why I have it. I guess I started it as a means of 'fitting in' with the group. But then my loss is MY LOSS not anyone else's, although, I hope that my immense amount I need to lose may inspire others.
Oh, and, while I'm whingeing, I find it trite, at best, when people who have a total of 10kg, and are half way through, whine about the restrictions of the programme, or complain about their own 'deviations'. I have struggled with my mind about this one. Part of me says, what the ....? ONLY 10kg, and they're whining??? Crikey, I'd be beside myself to be ONLY 10kg overweight!!! Then another part of me says "These people have the right to feel uncomfortable with their weight, just as much as any of us do". Although, it does seem to me that if they got on with it they'd be finished in no time flat...
It's interesting where your mind wanders when you examine your surroundings.
I'm due for my first blood test now, I'll go for it next Monday after my weigh in, won't have time before then. Should be interesting, Sue tells me the report comes back as to whether I've 'deviated' or not. I haven't varied from the plan at all (deliberately, there were some 'teething issues') but this last two weeks with the throat infection I've had a very dry throat so I've been chewing on sugar free cough lollies, and I'm told they may give a naughty reading. Will see next week.
I'm not losing as fast as I should be. This is, I believe, due to three things. Firstly I probably haven't been drinking quite enough water while I've been sick, secondly I've had issues with the way I read the plan, in that I was eating the wrong type of fish and eating all my fruit at once, and thirdly, the cold will have done bad things to my metabolism. These put together with the fact that I really MUST get to bed earlier, have stopped me achieving what I want to. (Don't anyone look at the time now!)
The water's fixed itself now that I'm getting better, the food has fixed itself through more discussion with Sue, the cold is going, nearly gone. This leaves the small matter of going to bed early. I'm going to make a point of being in bed by midnight EVERY day this next week, and see how that goes. Won't be easy.
PS: I want a cup of TEA!!!
posted by asy @ 12:35 am
13 comments
13 Comments:
Yup, I understand what you meant. They just kept on posting their deviation posts and asking for consolation time after time. In a way, they are also tempting pple to deviate one way or another or demoralising pple in the diet. I agree with you about the ticker about deviation. Its was so weird to me too!
Gosh, I'm SO GLAD I'm not the only one.
Who are you, by the way? email me, if you want to stay anon.
asy :D
I'm fornight. Cheers!
Hi again asyoz... i'm another anonymous who just posted about the god botherers on the cohens forum...
Anyway, I can totally dig what you're saying about the whingers on the forum... if deviating pains you so much then don't freakin' do it in the first place.. and if you're gonna do it, whinge to someone else.. it's hard supporting ourselves let alone having to be the constant pillars of strength for other people...
There's a term I like to call those people "NEEDY"!
Hey there!
Well, i agree with most of what you said, except for one part. :)
I too include the days i've not deviated in my signature because i regard it as a challenger to update it every week and not to bring it down to zero ever. Not sure if it makes sense, but it does help when i take pride in not deviating at all. Or when im contemplating that bagel, & i think about how i've been clean so long n it'd be a waste to see that ticker go to zero again.
It does help, at least to me. As for the whingers on deviation, it's their nature to confess to SOMEONE, & i suppose they see the forum as a place to do so annoymously. But i especially cannot tolerate those who continuously fall off the wagon, but once i read about one of the forumites who confessed to an eating order, i told myself to be more tolerant as what we read may not be the entire case of whats going on.
Just my two cents worth, love reading about your daily life on the plan! Take care!
Yeah its pretty easy to be cocky when you've got it together. I'm sure there have been times when you would have appreciated some compassion. Not everyone can be as wonderful as you. Some of us lesser mortals are doing OUR best and many apologies if that aint good enough for you - but guess what TOUGH LUCK. If it bugs you so much rack off. We dont need your type. That weightloss is for anyone and everyone not some self-righteous minority who think themselves better than everyone else just because they are managing a bit better. You know the saying about walking in someone elses shoes...I hope you are shown more understanding than you are obviously able to give others.
If all this bugs you so much, why dont you form your own "ELITE" forum, one where you holier than thou types can get together and bag everyone else. It sounds like your style. Actually that is a big sign of insecurity - putting others down to make yourself look better.
Hey asyoz. L-Jay here. I was told about these comments and that they seem very directed at myself. No I'm not offended, because I know my circumstances and that once I stuck to Cohens strictly but circumstances beyond my control stopped me from reaching goal, after losing 40kgs. I did that in 5 months and only had 7kgs to go. I feel sad that some find it so easy to judge people when they dont know them. The forum is intended to encourage people who are trying to lose weight. This includes those of us who keep getting up and dusting ourselves off. I found it easy before my circumstances changed. That helped me have empathy and understanding for others who found it not so easy. I went on the forum for help. And in the past I also have managed to make valuble contributions towards helping others. As far as one of the anon comments is concerned "HELLO" thats why we have the forum to help others, not just ourselves. If its so difficult, dont visit the forum. Just wanted to remind you all that if I annoy you so much, you can put me on your ignore list. I came up with the no deviations ticker because I needed to try something different for myself. I didnt force any of you who think its weird to do it. So, build a bridge guys. We are all doing our best. There is enough critical negative attitudes around. Obviously you have offended a couple of forum users. Thats a shame. I think if the biggest thing you people have to whinge about is how others struggle with something you find relatively easy, then you dont really have many problems in your life. As I said once upon a time I too found it easy. Now I dont, but I dont give up entirely. Thankfully I wasnt looking down on others who had a hard time of it. People gain their motivation in different ways. Whats it to us, if its not our method? Why do you have to let others who arent doing so well affect you? Just be happy you are doing ok. I will do okay. I've done it before and know I can do it again. But I make no apologies for what I am going through and for turning to the forum for help. I like my no deviations ticker, and I'm keeping it. But if others who perhaps are suffering with self-esteem issues read your blog, I sincerely hope they arent put off the forum because a few dont like the way they post.
Hey L-Jay. (Which co-incidentally are my initials!)
Sorry if you thought the blog was about you. It wasn't. I wasn't thinking of anyone in particular when I wrote it, just general things I've noticed on the forum. If it happens to fit some of the things you've done, I'm sorry.
I must say I'm surprised anyone got upset at it, if they'd read it properly I'm purely examining thoughts, and doubting my own reaction in places. More examining my reaction to what people are saying/doing than anything else.
I quite like reading your posts, the only thing, if I HAD to find something, that annoys me about your post/signature are all the empty lines in it, makes it too long and pushes other posts down. But it's Ok. I have a bridge. Somehow I'm sure I'll survive. Still, if you really wanted to know anything that annoyed me, that's it. You aren't the only one. And It only annoys me because of the stupid photos that load at the top of every forum page (my theory, right or wrong, is that lots of empty lines make more pages to load for the same amount of info) anyway, those photos take forever to load on my system (I don't know why, I have ADSL) I can't imagine what people on dialup go through.
The comments about deviating were general. Lots of people go on about it. I find it annoying, but still enjoy the forum.
Anyway, there's the truth of it. I doubt anyone has stopped posting because of my blog.
Again, sorry if you took it personally, you needn't have.
asy :D
I can’t believe the over reactions here!!!!!!!!!! I never once felt asy was targeting any particular person. It was a very general comment.
There appears to be a real self esteem problem happening here……..don’t blame asy for your insecurities. This is not a competition…..everyone is trying to do things to benefit themselves.
Don’t lay guilt trips, it won’t make you feel better about yourself.
Thanks for your quick reply asyoz. sorry about hassles with siggy, dont know how to get it closer to my post. Dumped the days one - they dont have the rule I like anymore. Anyway I actually found what you had to say helpful. Thats the way I speak to myself - straight. What can I say? I like to go in to bat for underdogs. Some do better with softness others of us take it on the chin. I was going to pm (too long) for 1 reason - anon comments. I dont have a lot of time for people who make caustic remarks & hide, especially if they post on here, & act all nicey nicey on the forum. It is better to be honest. If I reply on your blog they go on & on & its all negative & a waste of time. I'm not out to win, though I could wipe the floor with them. But I've seen forums where this type post & it never does much good. Prefer to say my bit & move on. I respect you, you have that kind of forthright attitude. BTW my post last night was not directed at you, but at those anon posts.I Dont care if they know how I feel, but I'm not going into endless debates. Am impressed with your go for it attitude. Speak straight with me whenever you want. I like building bridges too. There are too many positive things in life to be negative. Eg, fact that we have the key to fast permanent weightloss. Hope you understand where I'm coming from. And for those anons - 0 care factor. Not replying.
I must say, I thought the same of you L-Jay. I was very pleased you'd put your name to your comments. I greatly respect that.
I can usually figure out who posted what (through my computer's systems) and sometimes people post here anon, but let me know who they are (like the post immediately preceeding your last one) which is fine.
I don't mind anonymous general comments, they're fine, but people who post anonymous vitriole are cowards and I pay them no heed.
Ya don't have to agree with me, but have the guts to debate it and tell me who you are!!!
Yee haa!! Thats cool asyoz. I think we are pretty much on the same wave length. I like to get a bit feisty sometimes. It fires me up to get moving. I know there have been situations where I've posted anon. purely because I stuff up when it comes to filling in the username and other fields. Maybe I should give these ones the benefit of the doubt on that one. Anyway still enjoy reading your blog and I know if you couldnt take people expressing a different slant on things, you wouldnt be publicising your opinions. More power to you girl. I've actually enjoyed our discussion. Spices things up a bit ey? he he he.
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